Since its inception in the 1830s, the Sun has chronicled crime in the mean streets of the City that Never Sleeps, and to this day, the police blotter – or its digital equivalent – offers fascinating snapshots into lives gone wrong in the myriad neighborhoods of the five boroughs. Our aim here is to chronicle the more curious criminal incidents across New York City that, with local news coverage in retreat, may not otherwise come under a spotlight. 

Please remember when perusing this blotter that arrests do not constitute guilt, and all suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Moreover, the reported items are merely a snapshot of a criminal matter– what is known at the time of publishing. In most cases, the persons arrested for breaking the law haven’t been convicted (yet). It’s also possible that the charges brought against them may be reduced or even withdrawn.

MANHATTAN

Midtown: Dirty Old Man Caught Stroking Penis Inside Penn Station Men’s Bathroom

A septuagenarian was caught pleasuring himself inside of a loo at Penn Station. 

The 76-year-old man, who is an accomplished art historian with direct lineage to a prominent New York family, was nabbed inside the transportation hub loo on August 20. A witness will have a hard time unseeing the senior “swing his body back and forth with his penis”, according to the criminal complaint.

The man also saw him “stroke” his appendage in an “up and down… in a manner consistent with masturbation, in plain view”. The uninhibited accused was pinched for lewdness, exposure of body in public and exposure of a person.

Attempts to reach the man were unsuccessful. However, a younger relative in Brooklyn was taken aback when informed of the alleged bathroom impropriety but also claimed to be in the dark. “Sorry, I don’t know anything about it — so I don’t think I can help,” the person said.  

During his September 3 arraignment the pleasure-seeker pleaded not guilty and was released. He’s due back in court on October 10. 

The Legal Aid Society recently responded to recent reports about an uptick in public lewdness busts by Amtrak cops in Penn Station bathrooms that they claim are disproportionately skewed towards LGBTQ+ New Yorkers.

“We are deeply disturbed by the surge in public lewdness arrests that appear to target LGBTQ+ New Yorkers,” the statement reads. “Our caseload reflects this troubling pattern, especially since the start of summer — including 20 arrests in a single day this September. 

“Too often, these arrests are based on an officer’s perception of a person’s sexual orientation rather than on probable cause.”

Kips Bay: ‘Oh, You Know You Liked It!’: Butt Groper Blabs to Innocent 

A woman grabbed another woman’s butt and then gloated about it. 

The 51-year-old handsy gal was allegedly walking along East 28th Street near Second Avenue at minute before midnight on August 16. The woman strolled up to an unsuspecting woman from behind on the sidewalk and allegedly copped a feel of her right buttock and squeezed, according to the criminal complaint. 

The accost sent the victim jumping backwards in utter disbelief. Her alleged molester then tried to suggest that her malice was gratifying, and sneered, “Oh, you know you liked it!”

She didn’t. 

Cops were called and initially lost track of the alleged butt grabber. Nine days later, however, investigators managed to find their woman. She was swiftly slapped with forcible touching and sexual abuse raps.

BROOKLYN

Williamsburg: ‘She’s My Future Wife!’: Cupid Creep Can’t Take Rejection When Desperate, Year-Long Courting Efforts Fail

A dejected deviant was determined to win over a woman. And after nearly a year of ploys like yanking her out of a nightclub to sleeping on her building’s rooftop — she caved and called in the calvary. 

The 38-year-old bleeding heart was incorrigible despite being denied time and again by the now 27-year-old muse who had been forced to turn him away dating back to August of last year. 

The alleged desperately seeking loser had appeared out of nowhere when the woman was out at a club. 

The woman informed the accused that she “was not interested [in him]” and yet that didn’t stop him from following her into a nightclub bathroom and then forcing her to call it an early night, according to the criminal complaint. 

The suspect then spotted tagging on a wall by the woman’s apartment located on Bedford Avenue near South 1st Street. It read, “I Miss Your Monkey Face”. 

Its message struck the delusional suspect to think it was meant for him. So he then tried to reciprocate by sending a dozen “elegant roses” to her job on Valentine’s Day with a note that read “For [sic], M (“M” meant to be “Monkey”, the papers say. When pressed about why he sent the roses, the suspect allegedly admitted to the flower gesture because “she did the graffiti first” and that it was “my reply”.

When the flowers didn’t compel the woman to fall into the creep’s arms — he then decided to try trespassing her home. In fact, the complaint suggests the suspect would clandestinely appear on a sidewalk curb or in the corridor of the victim’s home when she or her roommate arrived.

He allegedly knocked on her door at 4 a.m. and even spent numerous nights snoozing on the rooftop of the six-floor building. 

Again, when he was asked about why he went to these extremes, the suspect allegedly didn’t mince words, claiming, “I was trying to find the place [where] I could sleep… To me it’s the safest place.” 

He continued: “I was sleeping on the roof because of a girl.”

When shown a photo of the woman, he confirmed, “that’s her” and then made clear that they were meant to be. “She’s everything to me,” he said. “She’s my future wife.”

The unwanted cameos to the woman’s apartment (and overnight stag slumber parties on her rooftop) weren’t always done with cloak-and-dagger skill. The building’s superintendent told authorities that he “kicked out” the suspect at least eight times for snoozing on the rooftop and also clashed with him for “sitting on the street” or “hanging out at the curb” and refusing to move. 

When his efforts in the physical world came up short, the suspect then tried to pester the woman on her Instagram account.  He allegedly sent her a note that read: “I won’t stop. It’s too late to stop me and I don’t care if I am reported to the police.”

The victim, for her part, replied curtly, “Stay away from me and my friends.”

She also called his bluff and summoned the cops. They determined that the obsessed goon had crossed a line a long time ago and brought him into custody back on August 27. 

He was hit with stalking, criminal trespass, and aggravated harassment, among other charges. He pleaded not guilty during his arraignment and is due back in court on October 16, court records show. 

Gravesend: ‘I’m an Officer Of The Court!’: Police Pretender Kneecaps Driver After Arrest Fail

His attempted arrest went bust. 

A 61-year-old was nabbed trying to play cop. 

At around 12:15 p.m. on Sept. 1, the accused was manning the wheel of a 2017 gray Ford fitted with red and blue package sirens. He flicked the lights ON and sounded the sirens to pull over an unsuspecting driver. 

The lawman wannabe allegedly stepped out of his fugazi cruiser and announced his authority. “I’m an officer of the court,” he allegedly jabbed at the driver. “You’re going to be arrested.”

Somehow, the suspect’s acting chops clearly didn’t meet Stanislavsky standard and rattled the driver’s pessimist antennae. They asked the impersonator to “identify [himself]” – but he allegedly refused, according to the criminal complaint.  

With the jig up, the driver pressed for the basic information and that sent the suspect back to his imposter ride and as he peeled out he clipped the baffled driver’s knee. 

Real McCoy cops tracked down the suspect and he was cuffed and faces criminal impersonation of a police officer, impersonation of a public servant, assault with physical injury and harassment. 

The suspect’s recent pedestrian performance came on the heels of a July 7 bust in Brooklyn for the same raps, court records show.  The cop wannabe denied the charges at his arraignment and is expected to return to court on January 6. 

THE BRONX

Kingsbridge: ‘Give Me Your ‘F—ing’ Chains’: Armed Muggers Caught Threatening Life of Man Standing With Grandsons

The goons wanted his gold. 

The human target was ambushed by two unabashed raiders deadset on snatching his precious bling dangling around his neck. 

The 57-year-old was waiting for his wife with his two grandsons, ages 6 and 7, along Irwin Avenue back at around 5:30 p.m. on September 1. 

He recounted that out of nowhere, a gray Kia sedan sided up to them; with one man popping out to stammer: “Give me your f— chains,” according to the criminal complaint. 

That 24-year-old Bronx native then grabbed hold of four gold chains off the elder. 

Meantime, his alleged 26-year-old cohort who hails from Elkton, Maryland egged him on: “Shoot them! Kill them!”

The terrified grandfather and his young kin didn’t carry out the suggested executions.
They peeled off. But there began a high-speed pursuit. 

Units quickly spotted the pair motoring not far away in the 2021 K5 model ride. 

When one of the units closed in on the jewelry thieves — the driver allegedly “refused to stop”, the papers say. In fact, the driver, the complaint notes, “accelerated at a high rate of speed” on the Major Deegan Expressway and was “swerving in and out of traffic” forcing several cars off the road. 

The stunt driving culminated at the intersection of Tiebout Avenue and West 184th Street — with the driver ultimately ramming several cars, including a 2023 Honda with Pennsylvania plates.

Cops soon surrounded the men and after bringing them into custody, they searched the Kia and plucked out a loaded 9 mm Taurus pistol. They also found the gold chains (worth more than $1,000) that had been stolen from the grandfather.

The greedy and speedy suspects were hit with several charges. Among them are robbery, criminal possession of a firearm, grand larceny, unlawful fleeing a police officer, and endangering the welfare of a child. 

Westchester Square: Pill-Popping, Weed Smoker Who Plowed Into Cars And Fire Hydrant Claims The Discovered Crack Is Whack

He was tweaked and allegedly caused a pileup — but he swears the crack found in his fanny pack wasn’t his. 

The 35-year-old accused was busted after sweating bullets behind the wheel of a 2021 gray Toyota Sienna back at around 8:45 a.m. on Sept. 23. A witness saw the man drift off the road and smash his SUV into several cars and then knock over a fire hydrant. 

When officers arrived at the demolition scene on the street they encountered the suspect “profusely sweating” with his eyes described as “watery” and “diluted” – and spoke with a slurred speech. 

Asked if he consumed any dope or booze, the accused allegedly answered in the affirmative. “I was driving,” he allegedly explained, according to the criminal complaint. “I took Adderall and smoked some weed — but I don’t do drugs.”

That may be. But when officers searched the man’s fanny pack after combing through the wreckage they discovered it contained a Ziploc bag with two crack rocks inside. 

The scared straight driver was unconvincing because he was charged with Operating a motor vehicle while under the influence, reckless endangerment, reckless driving, and criminal possession of a controlled substance. 

QUEENS

Glen Oaks: Woman Caught Paying Bills With Ex Beau’s Debit Card, Posted Sex Video On Fansly

He’s poorer and exposed. 

A man claims his 29-year-old ex-galpal remitted hundreds of dollars worth of electric bills with his bank debit card. And these alleged rogue bill remits came months after she splashed their intimate videos engaging in sex without his consent on the site, Fansly. 

On the afternoon of August 8, the victim claims he received an alert from Bank of America suggesting his debit card was used twice in the spring. The first transaction occurred on March 27,  when the ex allegedly paid off her $300 Con Edison utility bill. On April 3, the same woman allegedly paid another bill — $350 this time; but again using the man’s plastic. 

Weeks later, on APril 21, the man claims the same woman applied for a Capital One Credit card using his name. Only instead of the card being sent to his home, it was sent to the woman’s Bronx home.

In neither the credit card application nor the debit card bill pays did the woman have the man’s permission. What’s more, the same alleged scoundrel of an ex allegedly published on Fansly three videos of the two engaging in sex. 

The first was uploaded on Feb. 11. It depicts the victim and the suspected woman without pants on; and the woman is seen “bouncing on top” of him. 

On March 12, the man is seen in a clip performing cunnilingus. The next day, authorities say the same pair are seen engaging in sex with the man’s hand on the suspect’s neck. 

The ex-video sharer is facing unlawful dissemination or publication of an intimate image, grand larceny, petit larceny, and identity theft.  

She pleaded not guilty at her September 9 arraignment and must return to court on October 28.  

Flushing: Fare-Dodging Ruffian Swears He Returned Battered Bus Driver’s Stolen Cell Phone

A bus driver trainee was tuned up and then robbed by a cheapskate. 

At around 8:30 a.m. on September 8, the 32-year-old perpetrator hopped on a Q26 bus and rode it for a clip until it pulled over on a busy stop on Main Street near Northern Boulevard. The suspect allegedly attempted to exit “without paying the lawful fare”, according to the criminal complaint. 

The bus driver in training quizzed the alleged absconder for skipping out on the fare. He paid a heavy price. The suspect delivered a punishing haymaker to the driver’s face. 

The city worker still tried to inhibit the bus bandit from exiting by physically blocking him from the exit. That apparently enraged the accused, who in turn shoved the driver into the bus door. 

In the tussle, the pugilist passenger allegedly snatched the driver’s cell phone from his hands before sprinting off. Cops managed to track down the freeloader and found the driver’s cell phone. Pressed about what happened, the man allegedly admitted to only part of the theft. 

“I took the phone but I gave it back,” the man allegedly told authorities, the papers say. 

At his arraignment, the suspect claimed his innocence. He is scheduled to return to appear before a judge on November 3. 

STATEN ISLAND

Tottenville: Barred Perv Recorded On Doorbell Cam Flashing And Masturbating

He was already blackballed. But the court formality apparently didn’t stop him from reaching grotesque lows. 

At around 11 p.m. on Aug. 10, the 60-year-old man appeared at the stoop of a home on Joline Avenue near Hyland Avenue. 

Authorities say the suspect dropped his trousers to expose his genitals and make lewd gestures, according to the criminal complaint. 

The man, who was allegedly shirking a protection order secured back in March (and in effect until 2027), proceeded to masturbate before he bent over showing off his buttocks before allegedly crowing, “You want some of this? Keep it up!”

Cops tracked down the misfit and brought raps of both public lewdness for the exhibition on the stoop and criminal contempt for flouting the order of protection. 

The accused is defending against the charges but won’t be back in court until December. 

St. George: ‘I Will Hurt You!’: Knife-Wielding Woman Grouses In Spat

She’s a menace with a blade. 

On the late afternoon of August 25, a woman was allegedly ready for blood when a quarrel with another person boiled over. 

The 24-year-old had been inside of a home located on St. Marks Place; steps from Curtis High School. “I will hurt you,” she allegedly snapped to the rival while holding the kitchen blade. 

Police were called and they nabbed the woman. She was subsequently slapped with menacing, criminal weapons, and harassment. 

The woman pleaded not guilty at her arraignment and is expected to be back in court in mid-October, court records show.