Inspector general reports are normally a dry recounting of bureaucratic misdeeds — but the latest version is filled with details of a “flirtatious” Metro-North Railroad procurement officer who approved bids for millions of dollars in goods, many well above market-rate, for a female sales agent he was trying to bed.

The events started unfolding in 2023 with flirtatious emails between the two. One in April from the procurement officer to the sales agent about past-due purchase orders said: “OOOOoooooooooooh, sumbodee bout to get a smack-botum………Rahhhtid!”

The sales agent replied, “Hey, you never know. You may have some skills I know nothing about. But it could be fun to discover.”

Another email from the procurement officer said, “Be happy……I’m always happy especially when interacting with certain people who bring out the excitement in me…”

The pair’s relationship moved to late-night phone calls, with one lasting nearly two hours. They ended up meeting several times to enjoy coffee or drinks — but didn’t advance to the “intimate physical contact” that the procurement officer desperately hoped for. He says things didn’t turn out how he “would’ve liked to” because of timing and being in public.

The procurement officer’s phone was filled with text message exchanges filled with heart and kiss emojis. Many of the hundreds of missives occurred between the off-duty hours of 7:00 p.m. to 7:00 a.m.

One from the sales agent read, “Nice day for you as well, don’t know if you remember but exactly a day like today a year ago you’ve decided to see this person behind the phone. Ever since then, I can’t stop dreaming about you. I hope there will be many more trips around the sun for us.” It was followed by two heart emojis.

“I love your words. Thank you for remembering. I am a bit loose on my remember days. Ever since meeting you, I’ve been wonderfully intoxicated.” The message ended with a kiss emoji.

While this was going on, the procurement officer was approving millions of dollars of questionable bids submitted by the woman.

The inspector general began investigating after receiving a tip — not about an attempted love affair — but about suspicious procurement activity, like $78 scrub brushes costing nearly 10 times what the railroad previously paid for them or forklifts that cost an extra $40,000.

The sales agent’s company was approved for 194 transactions in 2023 alone with a total value of approximately $3.37 million.

When confronted with the allegations, the procurement officer first denied ever meeting the woman in person. After finally admitting to it, he was asked if he had a sexual relationship with her. He said that he did not see how that was “relevant” to the investigation.

The commuter transit agency said it terminated the procurement officer in October. “The MTA strongly repudiates the activities documented in this report,” the agency said in its response to the investigation. It said the findings were “particularly unsettling” because he was such a high level employee of the agency.