Children need some unsupervised time. Sure, it depends on their age, interests, and neighborhood, but I am pretty constantly urging nervous parents to get a grip and let their children walk to school, play outside, and go to the store.

Yet in truth, it is not only anxiety thwarting parents. There are other forces arrayed against them: the car-centric design of many modern suburbs, for one. And now an increasing unwillingness to tolerate unaccompanied tweens and teens in malls and other public gathering places.

In this great, infuriating article, Fast Company’s Sarah Bregel reports that “(t)he other day, my 15-year-old daughter and her friend were smelling candles in the local grocery store just two blocks from our home. I frequently send my daughter, and my younger son, 10, to grab a few items there when I’m busy — especially in the summer when no one gripes about the walk. But on this particular day, an employee approached the girls and asked them to leave the store immediately. ‘Why?’ they responded in unison, taken aback.” 

The answer, Ms. Bregel adds: “Because they didn’t have a parent or guardian with them.” 

Turns out that that store actually did NOT have a no-unaccompanied-minors policy, as Ms. Bregel found out when she stopped by to ask them. And yet so many other places do. In just the past year, her “rules-following” daughter has “been asked to leave a department store, our local mall, and other chains, not for loitering, being loud, or misbehaving in any way, but simply because she wasn’t with an adult.”

I had no idea how common this was, so on X, I asked, “Does your local mall ban unaccompanied minors, at least some hours of the day?” Of the 110 respondents, 48 percent said yes, 52 percent said no.

No doubt the malls and chains want to be able to get rid of rowdy or shoplifting children and believe the best way is just to ban everyone of a certain age. Only that’s like banning all adults because some of them will shoplift or shout.

In fact, Ms. Bregel notes, the majority of shoplifters aren’t teens: They’re parents and/or millennials. Their main motivation? Inflation.

Think about the issue from a civil rights perspective: One class of people is kept out. It’s not because of their religion, race, or gender. Yet it is due to a characteristic that they can’t change. And someone in power has decided that that group just doesn’t deserve the rights other people have.

Which brings us to a generation that is anxious and depressed — as you would be, if rules kept you out of the world you’re ready for.

Obviously, malls aren’t the only place children can go. There are parks. There are basketball courts. Only for a generation or two after America’s town squares died, partly thanks TO malls, the malls took their place. It’s where you could walk around without much of a plan other than to see and be seen by some friends — or, better still, crushes.

One way to fight the freezeout is to keep schools open for mixed-age, no-phones hangout time before and after school. Put out some balls, chalk, household junk — laundry baskets, tires.

This can become a great place to gather because the crucial elements — space, time, something to do, and a critical mass of children — are all there. We call this a Let Grow Play Club. At LetGrow.org, we’ve got a free guide on how to start one. You can call it whatever you want.

The other alternative where children can find friends, fun and flirting without adult intervention? Online, of course.

Where children hang out is where we let them.

Creators.com