Not that I feel like hanging out in 21-degree weather with 45 mph winds — thank you very much, February — but if I did, I would not be welcome at many of my local playgrounds. As the New York City Parks Department website informs folks like me, with no young children:

“At many playgrounds, adults are not allowed except when accompanying a child.”

What’s more:

“If you have seen someone violating park rules, please visit the city’s Rules Violation page to report your complaint.”

I guess any adult who simply wants to sit on a bench and watch children play could be a creep, so just ban ’em all.

Yet by separating the generations this way, we are creating distrust of any adult who wants to help a child other than their own. Compare this to what goes on in Japan.

It’s not just the children on that Netflix show “Old Enough!” who go gallivanting from school to shop to home. All the children there wear bright yellow hats their first year of school.

“Doesn’t that put them in danger?” a friend asked. To her, children who call attention to themselves are children who could be attracting a predator.

Only attracting adult attention is a feature, not a bug. In Japan, the assumption is that the easier it is to see a child, the easier it is for grownups to look out for them. Children are considered a collective responsibility. Here, they’re seen as private property under constant threat of theft.

Which brings us to the flip side of this obsession with stranger danger: the idea that any time a parent lets their children do anything on their own, they’re actually forcing the rest of us to “babysit” the children for free.

An attitude like that assumes that a child on their own could get hurt, requiring care — or that the child could be a nuisance, requiring intervention. The latter is why so many malls are prohibiting children without an adult in tow.

Yet when children are shopping, giggling, walking, or playing, no one has to babysit them. They’re just people in public who happen to be young.

And if some problem comes up — say, a middle schooler trips and breaks their arm — well then, yes, some nearby adult may have to come to their aid. Only that is not babysitting. That is one human being helping another, who happens to be 12.

Most children walking to school or playing at the park are not going to need major assistance from anyone, adult or otherwise. And if they do, most of us would give it ungrudgingly. Their parents have not foisted a huge burden on society by letting their children be part of it.

Old and young have always interacted. Adults who enjoy being around children are, for the most part, just that. Not predators.

And children out and about in the world are, for the most part, just that. Not a big, unpaid job for the rest of us.

I’m not sure about the yellow hats, but Japan has the right idea. Looking out for everyone beats trusting no one.

Creators.com